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It's A Guy Thing
It's a Guy Thing
To help understand the age old question of Why Do Men Always Touch Themselves?, my sister, who is not a big fan of joke emails, felt she just had to pass this one along...and in turn, I will do the same. Now maybe my little nephew (age 7) will understand why he feels the need to have his hand down his pants.
It's a guy thing, regardless of species!
...<< MORE >>Just Drop The Kid OFF
Why do I feel like I am living the school drop off scene from the Michael Keaton movie, Mr. Mom, when I drop my son off at school?
Dropping him off is not rocket science and the method is fairly simple:
One lane in...split to an inner and outer drop lane...pull up...drop the kid off...exit.
There is enough room in each lane for six or seven cars to drop off at the same time.
Oh...and this is HIGH SCHOOL!
Invariably, there is always a car that is number 3 or 4 in line that has to wait until ...<< MORE >>
Family Night at the Gym
Family Night at the Gym
I know as the kids get older, that it gets harder and harder to do things as a family. Just sitting down together for a meal is a scheduling effort of monstrous proportion. So my wife and kids (22 and 16) decided that Tuesday nights will be family dinner and then family gym night. What did I get myself in to...
1) Text message discussion with my daughter during the day:
What time will you be home?
5:15.
What's for dinner?
Ask your mom.
Don't you know?
No.
Mom said you're cooking?
Oh.
So what are you making?
Ask your mom.
2) Text ...<< MORE >>
10 Traits that My Dog and I Share
10 Traits that My Dog and I Share
Every once in a while you get the perfect Father’s Day card from someone special. I’ve had my dog for two years and we have grown very close. People say that pets take on the characteristics of their owners and in this case it is very true.
This is the content of the card I received from my dog, who is truly a man’s best friend.
List of 10 traits that my dog and I share (as printed in the card):
10. We ...<< MORE >>
Green for the Environment, Status, or Money
Green for the Environment, Status, or Money
Are you “green” by choice, default, guilt, social status, or money?
Or are you “green” because of all those reasons?
What prompted me to write this article is something that happened at a recent hockey association meeting. One of the parents suggested that our organization take up the cause to be green and promote it as a way of attracting players and families. WHAT! I doubt very highly that a player would come to our hockey club because we are green. I also think that trying to ...<< MORE >>
Redo to Remodel to Facelift
Redo to Remodel to Facelift
So last month my wife says she wants to redo the master bath because it is “old looking” and “out of style”.
How much…I ask.
The wall paper is old, the countertops are out of date, and the faucets are discoloring.
How much…I ask.
The shower stall and hardware is too hard to keep clean, the tub faucets are also discolored, and the cabinets are banged up.
How much…I ask.
The grout in the floor is discolored, the lighting fixtures are out of date, ...<< MORE >>
So My Little Girl Wants to Move Out
So My Little Girl Wants to Move Out
Yup, another one of those discussions. My 21 year old daughter just began working full time and has decided that she will move out of the house in September. This was just the latest in the many episodes (term used due to her drama) of her quest for independence.
I have no problem with her moving out, getting her own apartment, and being financially independent. In fact, I can’t wait for the day because I can sure use the reduction in my bills. But getting her to understand ...<< MORE >>
Caring for Mom, One Corded Phone at a Time
Caring for Mom, One Corded Phone at a Time
My mother (72) recently decided to move in with her boyfriend (76). Hey, they’re adults, both are financially independent, and there is no risk of her getting pregnant. I say…let them live their life. Mom will be keeping the condo so her family and guests will have a place to stay when visiting Tampa, but they will just not be spending as much time there as they both used to.
In an effort to reduce their expenses, she wanted to review with me the list ...<< MORE >>
Fundraising for the New Season
Fundraising for the New Season
This is my second in what will be a series of articles relating to the fundraising efforts and exploits (and hopefully success) of my son's travel hockey team. We just had our first brainstorming meeting and will start to formulate a plan for the coming 2008-2009 season.
After reading some of the ideas, and my responses, brainstorming may not be the right description for the meeting. In attendance were the coaches, team managers, and a half dozen or so of the returning hockey players. The players on the team range ...<< MORE >>
Heard While Learning to Drive
Heard While Learning to Drive
My teenage son and I just got back from a gut wrenching driving session. He is learning to drive and one of the ways he gets his wheel time in is by chauffeuring me around during the Saturday morning errand run. Things would be a lot easier if he would just learn to keep his hands on the wheel correctly and keep his mouth shut. Read on and see what I mean.
Son: Wow, first yellow light I went through.
Me: What’s the speed limit?
Son: ...<< MORE >>
The LOOK and the FINGER
The LOOK and the FINGER
For another chapter in the ongoing saga of “The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from The Tree”, I was treated to an argument between my two kids. I really do not know what they were going at each other, about and it really doesn’t matter, after all, they’re siblings.
Instead of listening to their crap, I was more intent on watching their antics as they argued. My son had his mad “look” going and my daughter was making good use of her “pointing” finger. The other finger came later and was ...<< MORE >>
One Roll at a Time
One Roll at a Time
It was a nice quiet morning,
All through the house,
With neither the dog nor cat stirring,
And no one else about.
So I rise off my chair,
To get a second cup,
When the urge to go comes upon me,
And off to the nearest bathroom I strut.
Yeah, that’s right; the so-called poem ends with no toilet paper. My son’s bathroom is empty once again.
Flashback: I grew up in a small house, six people, one bathroom. My mother did all the shopping and the one ...<< MORE >>
Look What the Dog Found
Look What the Dog Found
I was sitting in the backyard, taking my time with a beer and cigar, enjoying the nice Spring day, when I noticed the dog rummaging through one of the plant beds. Realizing that he was looking for something, and knowing that cleaning the beds was on my honey-do list, I knew that my time-out was over.
So off to the garage I go to gather the necessary tools and lawn bags (yes…recyclable bags) for my afternoon project. Of course there is absolutely no one to help me but the dog ...<< MORE >>
All I Wanted was a Pair of Jeans
All I Wanted was a Pair of Jeans
The Old Jeans
Old, faded, worn out, holes in the pockets, holes in the knees, holes in the butt, drooping, frayed at the bottom, frayed around the pockets, refuse to shrink, always stretch, hanging low, boxers showing.
The Owner
Me (and you thought it was my teenage son).
Off to the Mall
After my better half hit me with the "you need a new jeans and I will not be seen with you wearing that old crap anymore", it was off to the mall I went. I knew it was time to retire ...<< MORE >>
Kids Get Timeouts - Why Can't I ?
Kids Get Timeouts – Why Can’t I ?
Last night I was sitting at the ice rink, at yet another hockey practice, trying to get some work done. There was a flock of little kids running around the viewing area while their older siblings
were skating on the other rink. One 4 year old was getting a bit too boisterous and his mother sent him to sit in the corner for a “timeout”.
Watching him sit there, all alone, no body ...
Household Repair Correlation
Household Repair Correlation
Over the past several weeks I have had to do several household repairs. I have always been pretty handy around the house and pride myself on being able to save a few bucks by fixing something myself. I learned by watching and helping my father, and in turn, require my son to work with me when playing Mr. Fix-It around the house. Some repairs are easy, some hard, and the worst ones are the I-can’t-seem-to-figure-out-what-the-problem-is repairs.
What I noticed while doing the repairs was that there is a correlation between ease, cost, and ...<< MORE >>
The New Referee - Lessons Learned
The New Referee
The reality of having money, usually met by earning money, and the need to be employed finally hit my youngest kid (teen). Being the second child, and having witnessed the many money/work speeches that his sister received, the “light” went on (thankfully it was a bright bulb) and he started to ask me about getting a job. I agreed that he could work but it had to fit his school, church, and hockey schedule.
He learned that his available working hours are restricted by the school day and playing on two ice hockey ...<< MORE >>
Win Free Dunkin' Donuts Coffee for a Year
Win Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee for a Year
On my way to yet another hockey practice, I took a slight detour and went by the new Dunkin’ Donuts for a large regular and a two Boston Kremes. So sitting here and enjoying
my after dinner delight, I decided to go to DD’s website and look around. In my never ending quest to promote Dunkin’ Donuts and hopefully have the Dallas franchisees open stores faster, here
are their some things I found while surfing.
They have expanded the list of offerings since ...
I Only Hit it a Little Bit
I Only Hit it a Little Bit
Cars are bigger, parking spaces are smaller, cars are closer together, which just means we should be more attentive when pulling in and out of parking spaces and opening and closing car doors. But it’s simply amazing how many people just don’t give a damn when they hit your car in a parking lot.
This latest event occurred about an hour before I wrote this rant…errr article…when I stopped at the drug store to get aspirin for a headache that is now worse. I was with ...
<< MORE >>7 Reasons My Mother-in-Law Should Not Visit
7 Reasons My Mother-in-Law Should Not Visit
Sitting at home, watching some TV, and just about to doze off, the phone rings, my wife answers, her face gets sullen. She goes into the bedroom to talk in private.
Fifteen minutes later, the bedroom door opens and my wife emerges. Pale and hunched over with a sad look on her face, I ask my wife if someone died. She takes a deep breath and then she utters the
worst words I could ever hear…your mother-in-law is coming for a visit.
Here are 7 reasons why ...