Stay Out of My Zone

I take between 20 and 30 airline trips a year and only want to relax on an airplane and arrive at my destination safe and on time. I want to be relaxed, enjoy the peace and quiet, and maybe catch up on some reading. I keep to myself and stay in Zone.

I define my airplane “Zone” as the space between the seat armrests extending forward to the seatback in front, to the floor space below, and underneath the seat in front of me…of course with the tray table secured and the seat back in the full upright position. There are many ways to protect intruders, that is, other passengers, from entering my Zone. I prefer the quiet and subtle approach as opposed to the loud and obnoxious.

I try not to offend anyone when I fly, and I realize that there are a lot of nice and interesting people in this world, but sometimes a passenger has to do what a passenger has to do. I am just someone who likes to keep to myself and not share private discussions and intimate details of my life with a stranger sitting next to me for one to six hours. I also do not want to hear babbling from someone who is drunk, obnoxious, or just plain loud.

After years of family, work and traveling, the Zone on an airplane is the one place that I can be at peace with no interruptions, no telephones or email, and no place to run to except the bathroom when the aircraft starts the initial descent for approach (that’s another travel tip).

Here is how I protect my Zone.

Stay Away I Am Sick

First, you must travel with the required items. They are; one small travel size package of tissues, one small bottle of water, one pill container or liquid medicine bottle. Fill the pill container with any pill shaped object. I like using the candy “Red Hots” because they look like Sudafed. If you choose to use a liquid medicine bottle, it can be filled with your favorite brandy or grape juice.

Once onboard and in your seat, place the small package of tissues in the seat pouch in front of you. Be sure to hold one tissue in your hand. When your seat row mates arrive and are seated…sniffle…blow your nose…take the pills or a good swig of liquid…swallow some water…blow your nose again…cough…take a new tissue. Though this method may not get someone to move, your Zone will be protected and in most cases, you will get the second armrest.

Broken Seatback Trick

The following will work in a coach seat with a seat pitch of 30 to 32 inches. Items required: 1 magazine (airline in-flight magazine will suffice), 1 small, but thick, rubber band.

Roll the magazine into a tube. Place the rubber band tightly around the magazine. Place the tube between the armrest and the seatback in front of you slightly below your try table. This will prevent the person in front of you from reclining their seat.

Most people will try to place their seatbacks in a reclining position three times during the course of a flight. Right after takeoff they will try once. If the seatback does not move, they will find the button again, look at it, press it several times to make sure it goes in, and then try to recline the seat again. If it does not operate, they will give up. You can now remove the magazine, but remember to save it for later.

The second attempt will be after the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off and the appropriate announcements are made. Be ready with your magazine.

The third attempt will be after the kibbles and bits are finished. If they have been unsuccessful in the first two attempts, because you were successful in blocking them, perseverance will prevail. For some unknown reason, the thought that the seatback was somehow fixed during flight will drive them attempt one more time. Be ready and armed with your magazine already in place.

Let Me Work

Items Required: Any combination of computer, folders, books, calculators, pens, pencils, laptop, etc. This one is easy. Just spread everything out and look busy even if you are not. Used in combination with the Let Me Listen method (see below), it can be effective in blocking the “what do you do” question.

Let Me Read

Required Items: Book, magazine, multiple items acceptable.

Always have the book or magazine open and read, or at least pretend to read. Be careful not to choose the most popular book out in print. This may bring unwanted discussion from the person next to you if they have also read the book. On the other hand, reading an obscure title may bring out the weirdness in you row mates.

Let Me Listen

Required Items: A portable music player, laptop, DVD player, etc.

As soon as you are seated, place the headset in you ears. You do not have to be listening to anything to ensure that you will not be interrupted. The mere presence of an object in your ear is usually more than enough to ensure Zone Peace. I usually use this method along with the Let Me Read method mentioned above. Also, watching a movie is a lot better than episode of Friends or Seinfeld.

Any of the above used in combination is acceptable and strongly recommended. Remember when using electronic equipment to obey the portable electronic device usage restrictions which can be found in the back of your in-flight magazine...

Also see: Tidbits for Flying out of DFW  and  Say "NO" to Cell Phones on Airplanes!







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