Heard While Learning to Drive
Heard While Learning to Drive
My teenage son and I just got back from a gut wrenching driving session. He is learning to drive and one of the ways he gets his wheel time in is by chauffeuring me around during the Saturday morning errand run. Things would be a lot easier if he would just learn to keep his hands on the wheel correctly and keep his mouth shut. Read on and see what I mean.
Son: Wow, first yellow light I went through.
Me: What’s the speed limit?
Son: 40 or 45.
Me: How fast are you going?
Son: 45.
Son: There’s a sign. It’s 40.
Me: There was a sign back there on the left that said 40.
Son: But I’m in the right lane.
Son: @$%&*! first red light I went through.
Me: You’re too close to the right curb.
Son: But I get nervous near the yellow line.
Me: Stay on your side and they’ll stay on theirs.
Son: But I’m not comfortable near the yellow line.
Me: We’ll both be uncomfortably upside-down when you bounce off the curb and flip the car.
Son: I gotta learn to drive with one hand.
Me: Don’t you think you should learn with two hands first.
Son: (At traffic light) Hello laa-dies!
Me: You didn’t stop at the light before you made your right.
Son: The guy in front of me stopped.
Me: He can’t do it for you.
Son: Can I move my seat back? I need to get the “gangsta lean” thing goin’.
Son: YOU are going to need gas.
Me: Fine. We can use some of the money from your paycheck that we just cashed.
Son: I think you have enough to get to work on Monday.
Son: (Going too fast through an intersection) Cool. So that’s what it’s like when you bottom out.
Son: Great. I parked between the lines.
Me: I hope so. This spot is three feet wider than most. Now move out of the handicap spot.
Son: Could I go hit that puddle and splash those kids.
Son: I need cooler looking sunglasses.
I can’t wait until next week.
For additional reading: Another Driver to Be
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Reading this, it makes me ever-so-grateful I have cats instead of kids.
I understood the yellow line thing as well as the curb thing. However, when you got to the "Hello laa-dies!", it made me a little nervous for you.
Good luck!
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Thanks. I'll need it.
Patience, patience, patience...I keep repeating to myself.
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This is great. Keep this aside. Worthy of the archives. I think I should call my dad and say thanks now.
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Thanks for stopping by my blog...this was a great post!! I am going to make my mom stop by and check it out. She thought she had it bad with last (most spoiled) child in our family.
You have nerves of steel I am super impressed!
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Luckily...he is my last...although the dog does like to drive the car, too.
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LOL yeah, I can relate
I did teach both my wives to drive, and my older son, too. And will teach my youngsters - if I'm still around when they are ready
Regards, Misha
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