The Stew Pot

So My Little Girl Wants to Move Out

Stewart Allyn — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:12:06 GMT

So My Little Girl Wants to Move Out

Yup, another one of those discussions. My 21 year old daughter just began working full time and has decided that she will move out of the house in September. This was just the latest in the many episodes (term used due to her drama) of her quest for independence.

I have no problem with her moving out, getting her own apartment, and being financially independent. In fact, I can’t wait for the day because I can sure use the reduction in my bills. But getting her to understand what “financial independence” means is a hard lesson for any young adult to learn and understand.

I may be old fashioned, but I will only pay for one (please add emphasis to “one”) roof over her head, not two. I will also not subsidize her normal expenses if she moves out. I believe that until she can be totally independent financially, she should save her money. Build up a nest egg, emergency account, down payment…wudeva…to be able to deal with the monetary ups and downs she will inevitably see as time passes. Oh, and she can't move in with her boyfriend.

She has no curfew, comes and goes as she pleases, and has no real responsibilities in the house other than her room. She knows she has it good, but that “move out” disease keeps coming back.

To her credit, she has worked since she was 15, but only enough to keep money in her pocket. There was always an excuse, always a reason not to work more, always something. Her savings account in minimal and I will not give her access to the custodial account I have had since she was a baby. The custodial account will remain in my name as a real emergency fund for her or for when she is married and needs a down payment for a house. It will not be used as a slush fund.

My advice to her is to wait until she has at least $10,000 in her savings account and she takes home enough money to pay all her bills. To which her reply was “OMG, that will take forever”. Welcome to the real world, kiddo.

So we went through the usual routine of making a list of her current situation…which is:

Her current expenses:

Clothing (actually about 50/50).
Car loan.
Car insurance.
Car repairs.
Gasoline.
Tanning membership (oh, so important).
General entertainment.
Vacation.

Her current living situation:

Lives at home (no rent payment, her own bedroom and bathroom).
Utilities paid (no gas, electric, telephone, cell phone, cable, or water bills).
Stocked refrigerator (no food bills unless she goes out).
Laundry service (compliments of my better half).
Cleaning service (compliments of my better half).
Toll tag (on my account).
Gym membership (my account).
Health insurance (my company policy).

Next we put dollar amount next to each of the items on the “living situation” list and totaled them up. Her eyes got so big I thought she got hit by a pair of baseballs.

So reality set in…she does not make enough yet to go out on her own, but will be able to save about $950 a month (more if she cuts some of her expenses) and can move out in about a year.

I hope.

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Caring for Mom, One Corded Phone at a Time

Stewart Allyn — Mon, 12 May 2008 18:52:40 GMT

Caring for Mom, One Corded Phone at a Time

My mother (72) recently decided to move in with her boyfriend (76). Hey, they’re adults, both are financially independent, and there is no risk of her getting pregnant. I say…let them live their life. Mom will be keeping the condo so her family and guests will have a place to stay when visiting Tampa, but they will just not be spending as much time there as they both used to.

In an effort to reduce their expenses, she wanted to review with me the list of services she currently has at the condo and see what she could get can reduce or cancel. Since I am the only child not giving her a hard time about her decision, and never have, she feels she can talk to me about anything. So we went through the list.

Her cleaning service went bye-bye, as did the water delivery and the plant lady. Cable television service was reduced to basic (DVD’s are sufficient enough for entertainment) and her internet service was canceled. Then we got to the telephone service.

Mom wanted to cancel the telephone service. Her reasoning was:

She has a cell phone.
None of the kids call her at the house number.
Hardly any of her friends use the house number.
She is canceling the DSL.

All good reasons, but I told her to keep the phone and only get the basic, lowest, cheapest service.

I then asked her if she had a phone that plugs into the wall and has a corded handset. Of course she did not because who needs to be restricted by the length of a cord. She them proceeded to tell me about the modern age and how everyone goes cordless. At least she didn’t say topless.

So I explained why I wanted her to go buy a cheap old-style corded house phone and plug it in to one of the phone outlets. I gave her the following reasons and she agreed.

Reasons to Have at Least One Corded Phone

1) If you call the house and the phone rings, you know there is phone service (and the house is still there).

2) If the answering machine picks up, you know the house still has electric service.

3) If she is at the condo and there is an emergency, and if power is lost, she can still call for help. More often than not, if power is lost at a house, there is still phone service. The telephone is powered by low voltage through the telephone line. It is not powered by the house electricity. Cordless powerbases and answering machines are powered by house electricity.

So go through your house and take inventory.

How many portable phones do you have in your house?

How many cell phones do you have in your house?

Do you have at least one house phone that is plugged directly into the wall and has a corded handset?

Can you here me now?

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Fundraising for the New Season

Stewart Allyn — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:54:13 GMT

Fundraising for the New Season

This is my second in what will be a series of articles relating to the fundraising efforts and exploits (and hopefully success) of my son's travel hockey team. We just had our first brainstorming meeting and will start to formulate a plan for the coming 2008-2009 season.

After reading some of the ideas, and my responses, brainstorming may not be the right description for the meeting. In attendance were the coaches, team managers, and a half dozen or so of the returning hockey players. The players on the team range from 15 to 18 years old and are not in to going door to door or anything like that. You can read my article, Is Your Team “Fundraised Out”, for more on last year exploits.

Our goal this year is $10,000 for the team. It is more than last year, but a reachable goal.

Here are some of the ideas that were presented.

Pin-Up Calendar – One of the boys brought up the idea of doing a pin-up calendar and selling it at the various schools that the boys attend and online. It was explained that although making a calendar was a good idea, putting a bunch of teen boys on a calendar might be considered a little “Michael Jackson-ish” and we did not want that reputation. The player then explained that he did not mean that the players should pose, but that their girlfriends and sisters should pose in bikinis. No. See previous explanation.

Car Wash – Every school organization does a car wash and they just get to be a pain for the adults who have to be there. Of course, one of the boys said that they could get their girlfriends and sisters to wear bikinis and that would bring in the donations. Are you starting to see a recurring theme from the players?

Skate Drive – Similar to the boot drives that the fire department does at traffic intersections. Depending on the local fund drive ordinances; this may not be a bad idea. Have the boys in their jerseys and collect at red lights. Of course we have the “risk” factor and I’m sure the Board would not approve it.

Candy for Ransom – Wait for Halloween and then take kids candy and hold it for ransom. Needless to say, this was a “no”. But at least it did not include the use of girlfriends and sisters. This one was just illegal.

Garage Sale – This idea is brought up all the time. The big problem is…at whose house. This is where the idea usually dies a quick death.

Ungarage Sale – This was an idea that another team did a few years ago. Instead of a garage sale at someone’s house, the team collected items from the parents and gave them to a local EBay type store to sell. Though the team typically receives only 60ish percent of the money, there is no real effort expended and you just wait for the check to arrive in the mail. It was pretty successful with the previous team. We may give this one a go.

Sonic Car Hop – Here we go…back to the girlfriends and sisters car hopping in shorts, no bras, and tight shirts for tips.

Of course there were the usual ideas of:

Inkjet Recycling – Being done by one of the players.
Corporate Sponsors – This is handled by the organization.
Pampered Chef, Arbonne, etc. – One of these will done later in the year before the holidays.
Raffle – Raffle off donated tickets to various sporting events through out the season.

Internet Advertising – Several of us have websites and we donate the money from ad revenue to the team. Though this isn’t a biggie, everything helps. When on of us receives a check from Google, Commission Junction, Adbrite, etc., we give it over to the team treasurer.

Internet Ideas – Other internet ideas were selling pixels on a page that when purchased, would reveal a picture underneath. Yup…you guessed it…girlfriends and sisters. What are they teaching in high school business classes today?

Online Begging – This one I’ll leave up to the readers. If I were to put an address on my blog to send a dollar, or a couple of dollars, to, would you send? We do not want to get in to setting up a PayPal button, or check processing. So I’m asking for your opinion. Would you send a dollar or two in the mail to help sponsor the team?

Well, of to do some letter writing and start preparing for tryouts in seven weeks. The tryout process is an article unto itself. Stay tuned.

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Heard While Learning to Drive

Stewart Allyn — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:02:43 GMT

Heard While Learning to Drive

My teenage son and I just got back from a gut wrenching driving session. He is learning to drive and one of the ways he gets his wheel time in is by chauffeuring me around during the Saturday morning errand run. Things would be a lot easier if he would just learn to keep his hands on the wheel correctly and keep his mouth shut. Read on and see what I mean.

Son: Wow, first yellow light I went through.

Me: What’s the speed limit?
Son: 40 or 45.
Me: How fast are you going?
Son: 45.
Son: There’s a sign. It’s 40.
Me: There was a sign back there on the left that said 40.
Son: But I’m in the right lane.

Son: @$%&*! first red light I went through.

Me: You’re too close to the right curb.
Son: But I get nervous near the yellow line.
Me: Stay on your side and they’ll stay on theirs.
Son: But I’m not comfortable near the yellow line.
Me: We’ll both be uncomfortably upside-down when you bounce off the curb and flip the car.

Son: I gotta learn to drive with one hand.
Me: Don’t you think you should learn with two hands first.

Son: (At traffic light) Hello laa-dies!

Me: You didn’t stop at the light before you made your right.
Son: The guy in front of me stopped.
Me: He can’t do it for you.

Son: Can I move my seat back? I need to get the “gangsta lean” thing goin’.

Son: YOU are going to need gas.
Me: Fine. We can use some of the money from your paycheck that we just cashed.
Son: I think you have enough to get to work on Monday.

Son: (Going too fast through an intersection) Cool. So that’s what it’s like when you bottom out.

Son: Great. I parked between the lines.
Me: I hope so. This spot is three feet wider than most. Now move out of the handicap spot.
Son: Could I go hit that puddle and splash those kids.

Son: I need cooler looking sunglasses.

I can’t wait until next week.

For additional reading: Another Driver to Be

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The LOOK and the FINGER

Stewart Allyn — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:22:28 GMT

The LOOK and the FINGER

For another chapter in the ongoing saga of “The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from The Tree”, I was treated to an argument between my two kids. I really do not know what they were going at each other, about and it really doesn’t matter, after all, they’re siblings.

Instead of listening to their crap, I was more intent on watching their antics as they argued. My son had his mad “look” going and my daughter was making good use of her “pointing” finger. The other finger came later and was more verbal than pictorial. Where did they get the “look” and the “finger”?

The Grandparents

Growing up and either watching my parents argue with each other, or overreacting to something they allege that I did and which of course I denied, each had a unique way of showing their anger. My mother would always point and jab her finger at me for emphasis. My father would just give the “look” before he exploded and began yelling. As a kid I knew that if I didn’t stop at the “look”, I was a dead man when the verbal started.

It was actually funny watching my parents argue with each other. When my father was tired of watching my mother point at him, he would tell her where to stick her finger. When my mother was tired of seeing the “look”, she would hold up her middle finger and say “look” at this.

The Parents

That would be my wife and me. I will admit that I have always had the “look” when I was mad or upset with something. As I got older, the “look” became so effective, that I could stop an attacking dog in its tracks with one stare. Kids would stop crying, the next penalty would go my way, and a bad grade became an A. Well, maybe I exaggerate a little, but you get the idea.

On the other hand, my wife never pointed until years after we were together. I think it had something to do with spending time with and getting closer to my mother. As the years went by, she started pointing and I started telling her where to put the finger. OMG, we became my parents.

The Kids

So now I sit and watch my kids. The LOOK and the FACE. I wonder if they will one day say…OMG we became our parents.

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One Roll at a Time

Stewart Allyn — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:23:54 GMT

One Roll at a Time

It was a nice quiet morning,
All through the house,
With neither the dog nor cat stirring,
And no one else about.

So I rise off my chair,
To get a second cup,
When the urge to go comes upon me,
And off to the nearest bathroom I strut.

Yeah, that’s right; the so-called poem ends with no toilet paper. My son’s bathroom is empty once again.

Flashback: I grew up in a small house, six people, one bathroom. My mother did all the shopping and the one thing we never, never ever, never ever ever, ran out of was toilet paper. It even spurred an argument between my mother and father when he complained that the 47 rolls of toilet paper were taking up too much room in the closet. Mom won the argument with “then wipe your butt with your hand”.

So all through my growing years, moves away from home, marriage, and house ownership, toilet paper was never an issue…until you have kids.

My wife and I have lived in several houses. As the kids grew, so did the number of bathrooms. We went from 1 1/2, to 2.0, to 2.5, and now have 3.0 bathrooms. There is one in the master bedroom, one in my daughter’s bedroom, and the main house bathroom, which my son claims as his. So why is it that the kids are always running out of toilet paper?

It is not a question of going shopping, it is not a question of buying enough, and it is not a question of stocking the cabinets. When she shops, my wife buys enough to paper every house in the neighborhood. It is merely a life lesson to the kids to always be able to take care of the basics, like wiping your butt.

Independence. What each kid wants, but only in the area of dressing, going out, and their “time”. As parents, we decided long ago that they will have to manage some of life’s necessities and inform us when they need certain supplies, including toothpaste, soap, hair care products, and of course, toilet paper. My wife does the shopping, but if the kids need something, they are to put it on the kitchen shopping list. Simple.

Yet you wouldn’t believe how many times the rescue alarm is sounded and the siren blares “I need toilet paper”! It is funny to think of them waddling through the house when no one is home and they use the last sheet. I guarantee the pets are laughing.

We can put a four pack, six pack, eight pack, twelve pack, etc., under the sink, it just doesn’t matter. Just to prove a point, after the visit to my son’s bathroom, I did go look in my daughter’s bathroom to see how her supply was looking. Yup, last roll hanging on the holder and no toilet paper on the shopping list. Maybe I should use my mother’s response to my father.

And don’t get me started on flap “over” or flap “under”.

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Look What the Dog Found

Stewart Allyn — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:36:38 GMT

Look What the Dog Found

I was sitting in the backyard, taking my time with a beer and cigar, enjoying the nice Spring day, when I noticed the dog rummaging through one of the plant beds. Realizing that he was looking for something, and knowing that cleaning the beds was on my honey-do list, I knew that my "time-out" was over.

So off to the garage I go to gather the necessary tools and lawn bags (yes…recyclable bags) for my afternoon project. Of course there is absolutely no one to help me but the dog (some help!), which really isn’t a bad thing, and I crank up the stereo and begin weeding and cleaning.

I get to the part where the dog was rummaging and begin to clean the dead leaves from under a bush. I pulled out a clump of dead grass and leaves when I started hearing a “squeal” coming from the ground under the bush. I guessed that the dog had found some sort of rodent nest and that is why he was rummaging.

I put on a pair of gloves and started to remove the ground cover over the hole. What I discovered was three baby bunnies all snuggled in their nest. I put the covering back over the hole, but the dog had seen the bunnies and darted towards their nest. I grabbed the squirming little pooch, lost my balance and fell into the pool. Now I had to walk through the freezing water, holding the dog over my head, and yell for my wife to come and help.

Fifteen minutes later the dog and I were dry and it was time to figure out what to do with the bunnies. My wife had noticed a rabbit in the backyard in the evenings but figured it was just eating the early plant growth. Between the fenced in yard because of the pool, and our dog and cat, there is never any wildlife in the back. I guess Momma rabbit had found a safe place for her offspring.

My wife and I felt it better to leave the bunnies where they were so Momma could find them but we had to protect them from our pets. I took the six section dog fence/cage that we have in the house and placed it around the bunnies. I made sure there was enough room for them to get to some plants for food should they be of the walking stage soon.

So now you ask…if there is a cage around the hole, how is Momma going to come and nurture the young ones? Ahah, I though of that. Before I go to bed I make sure the pets are in the house and I go open the cage door so Momma can come and visit. In the morning, I go close the cage door before the pets go outside.

It’s been three days and so far no problems. My wife even put some vegetables in the cage so there is ample food for the bunnies. I cannot have them live in the backyard long term, and it is too soon to relocate the bunnies. I figure I have two weeks before they leave at night on their own by following Momma, or I will have to move them to the nearby woods. Either way, I know I did my part to keep them going.

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All I Wanted was a Pair of Jeans

Stewart Allyn — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:10:38 GMT

All I Wanted was a Pair of Jeans

The Old Jeans

Old, faded, worn out, holes in the pockets, holes in the knees, holes in the butt, drooping, frayed at the bottom, frayed around the pockets, refuse to shrink, always stretch, hanging low, boxers showing.

The Owner

Me (and you thought it was my teenage son).

Off to the Mall

After my better half hit me with the "you need a new jeans and I will not be seen with you wearing that old crap anymore", it was off to the mall I went. I knew it was time to retire my old pairs of jeans, and I knew I should have replaced them sooner (like 5 years ago), but I knew it was not going to be easy to find a pair of jeans.

I am well (well, well) beyond my Jordache days and I was just looking for a pair of regular Levi's like I used to wear. I was not prepared for what I encountered at the local mall. The plan was to go to one or two stores, get the jeans, grab a bite to eat, and go home. Yeah...like that happened. All I wanted was a pair of jeans.

Here were my choices:

Type of Wash

Aged Blue Wash, Medium Wash, Vintage Wash, Dark Blue Wash, Acid Wash, Lightweight Wash, Resin Rinse (Wash?), Tumbled Wash, Textured Worn, and my favorite, Tied to the Back of a Pickup and Dragged Around for a While.

Type of Fit

Chino Fit, Tapered Fit, Standard Fit, Loose Fit, Boot Fit, Low Rise Boot Fit, Easy Fit, Slim Straight Fit, Low Rise Fit, Toland Fit, Hayes Fit, Relaxed Fit, Carpenter Fit, Baggy Fit, Boot Fit, Low Loose Fit, Original Fit, Comfort Fit, Shrink To Fit, True Boot Fit, Button Loop Fit, Slouch Skinny Fit, Twisted Driller Fit, Low Rise Flare Fit, Texas Low Rise Fit, Snoop Droopy Drawers Fit.

Type of Color
Dark Blue, Dark Rinse, Medium Tint, Dark Wash, Stone Wash, Sandblasted Grey, Dark Stone, Black, White, Khaki, Medium Atlantic, Canvas, Overboard, Shaker, Grey Down, Fader, Coast, Clear Coated (Nude?), Dark haze, Global Blue, Iconic Black, Light Horizon, Iconic, Selvedge, Union Blue, Steeler, Indie Blue, Pepper Prewash, Quartz Stone, Antique, Bronze, Leather Brown, Tarmac, Granite, Dark Stone, Medium Stone, Classic Stone, Double Black, Lead, Worn Stone, Original Stone.

Now we still haven't even seen if they have my size. I walked out of store after store in frustration. Where was the section for "jeans". I remember when pre-wash came out and I did not have to wash my jeans 30 times before wearing them. It used to take a full school year just to get them to fade.

So I went home empty handed, but with the promise from my wife that she would go out alone and get me new pants.

All I wanted was a pair of jeans.

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Kids Get Timeouts - Why Can't I ?

Stewart Allyn — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:51:02 GMT

Kids Get Timeouts – Why Can’t I ?

Last night I was sitting at the ice rink, at yet another hockey practice, trying to get some work done. There was a flock of little kids running around the viewing area while their older siblings were skating on the other rink. One 4 year old was getting a bit too boisterous and his mother sent him to sit in the corner for a “timeout”.

Watching him sit there, all alone, no body allowed to be near him, nobody allowed to talk to him, nothing to do, the only thought that came to mind was …LUCKY KID.

While kids may think of a “time out” as punishment, I think of it as a reward. What I wouldn’t give for 15 waking minutes of “timeout” (a.k.a. alone with nothing to do time). When do I get a timeout?

Let’s take a look at my, or your, typical day.

Get up in the morning – pets, son, wife, get ready for work.

Drive to work – even though I am alone in the car, there is no peace and quiet time when driving rush hour.

Office – besides actual work, there is email, telephone, cell phone, meeting, people in and out of the office, you know the drill.

Drive home – see above but in reverse. Actually, driving home in reverse could be fun.

Dinner – family and talk.

Evening – hockey, family, work.

Weekends – family, hockey, work (sometimes), chores, honey-do’s, projects, outings.

Home office – not a chance. It seems that every time I go into the office to get some “me” time, my son comes in to see what I’m doing, or he works/plays on his computer. The dog comes in with a few toys to play or my daughter decides it’s time for me to fix her computer.

Weekend afternoon nap time – yeah…right. There are those times when my daughter is gone, my wife takes the son out shopping, the cat and dog are napping, and I lay down in a peaceful house. Is this my “time out”? No…the house phone rings and when I don’t answer it, they call on the cell phone, or the doorbell chimes.

But alas, I did find my quiet place and time. It’s a small room within a larger room. It has its own door. There is a magazine rack that is kept stocked with the latest reading material. There are two electronic games – Sudoku and Blackjack. There is a near-never-ending supply of paper. There is an old AM/FM radio. There may not be a plush recliner, but there is only room for one to sit. The room is well lit with adequate ventilation most of the time. All I have to do is remember to leave the seat down and the lid up.

So I found my “time out” place. Lucky me?

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Household Repair Correlation

Stewart Allyn — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:18:57 GMT

Household Repair Correlation

Over the past several weeks I have had to do several household repairs. I have always been pretty handy around the house and pride myself on being able to save a few bucks by fixing something myself. I learned by watching and helping my father, and in turn, require my son to work with me when playing Mr. Fix-It around the house. Some repairs are easy, some hard, and the worst ones are the I-can’t-seem-to-figure-out-what-the-problem-is repairs.

What I noticed while doing the repairs was that there is a correlation between ease, cost, and time.

The easier the fix…the more costly. The cheaper the fix…the more time consuming.

Microwave Oven Door Handle – 0.5 hours – $65

Daddy!!! My daughter decided to open the microwave oven door and pulled the handle off the door. No problem I thought, just get the manual, go online, and order the part. All I had to do was to wait for delivery. The handle came and of course it did not have the screws to attach it to the door. Dig through the hardware boxes in the garage, find two screws that fit, and install new handle. Cost $65 plus shipping. Okay, so it really took only 20 minutes on line to find and order the part and 10 minutes to install.

Dishwasher Soap Door – 2.50 hours – $17

Honey!!! The little door that holds the soap for the second cycle was not opening. So of course I am asked right away “why isn’t it working”. Well to tell you the truth…it beats the hell out of me. So I called the nearest Maytag store and went to visit the loneliest repair man in the world. Sure enough, the guy was all alone in the shop. I explained the problem, purchased a new solenoid switch, went home and installed it. Cost $15 plus tax and one trip to the store.

Garbage Disposal Leak – 3.25 hours – $34

Honey!!! There’s a leak under the sink. Now if there is one type of repair that drives me nuts, it’s fixing a leak. First empty the “crap” from under the sink. Second is to clean up the water. Third was to track down the leak. It was coming from the sink strainer unit that the disposal attaches to. No problem I thought, just go to the store, get a new one, install it and be done. Right? Wrong! Go to the store, get a new one, bring it home, have wife decide she wants a “white” one to match the inside of the sink. Go back to the store, get a “white” unit, come home and install. Cost $34 plus tax plus two trips to the store.

Outside BBQ Light – 4.5 hours - $$$ Frustration

Me!!! This is the one that drove me nuts. The spot light by the BBQ wasn’t working. Yes, the bulb was good. I checked the socket = good. I checked the wires to the light fixture = good. I checked the breakers = good. I climbed into the attic and looked at the wire to see if it was broken = good. Back to the breakers = still good (duh). I had given up when my daughter, who was cleaning her car, came and told me that the outlet in the garage wasn’t working. So off to the garage I go and look at the outlet. The breaker in the protected outlet had popped, so I reset it. Guess what? Yup, the light came on over the BBQ, on the other side of the house.

I can’t wait to see what this coming weekend brings.

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